Unplugging My Brain and Plugging It Back In
Six things that are helping me feel like a person again in the midst of all of...this.
A question for the masses - is there a way to do a hard reset for your brain? Like a good ol’ turn-it-off and turn-it-back on kind of thing? An unplug & plug-it-back-in moment?
Because your girl could really use one.
After a particularly grueling day of sessions this week, I lay down on the rug for a while and just stared at the beige ceiling, breathed in the faint lavender scent wafting from the diffuser, and listened to the incessant white noise in the hallway for a bit. Sometimes there’s nothing else you can really do.
Based on the general vibes I’m picking up around me, I don’t think I’m the only one that is feeling a little “off” these days. Every day is sprinkled with a special kind of exhausted anticipation called “Welcome to 2025, Who Knows What Today Will Hold?” and it’s reflected in the faces of my clients as we meet for counseling.
I’m in a constant state of deciding whether I should catch up on work stuff, be brave and call my state representatives for the first time ever, schedule therapy for myself, get all of this anxiety supercrunched out of my body at the chiropractor, kneel in prayer at my church until everything feels less existentially dreadful, make a protest sign, call a friend, nuzzle my cat’s belly fur, go paleo, pick up a new hobby, or snort some lavender and hope it does something for my nervous system.1
A supervisor once said to me that everyone kind of gets a little wacky in the spring - there’s something about the sunlight or the pollen suffocating us or the general frenetic energy of the world that prompts us all to feel a little more off-balance.
I feel myself carrying my clients’ stories more closely outside of session, as if their grief, pain, trauma, and concerns have steeped into my skin. I don’t just empathetically acknowledge their suffering - I can feel it in the twist of my stomach and in the tightness of my chest.
For me, this is always a sign that things aren’t going great.
Since I haven’t found the “system update” button, I’ve been leaning into a few practices that help me feel like a person again. Labeling it as “self-care” feels cringe and paltry, so I find myself focusing on things that help me feel hopeful, comfortable in my body, and nourished in as many facets as possible.
I love a listicle more than I can express, so I’m going to give you random six things that are currently helping me feel less like a plastic bag drifting through the wind.2
Going for trots
For those uninitiated, a trot is a very slow but very earnest jog, often accompanied by the Nike Run app and the voice of Coach Bennett, and lasting between 20-30 minutes in duration. During a trot, one often looks like a sweaty basset hound fighting for her life, rather than a graceful gazelle, but this is all well and good because basset hounds are adorable.
I have been told that it absolutely qualifies as running because both of my feet do leave the payment at the same time, but a run sounds a little more peppy than what is happening on my trots around my neighborhood. The only reason I’m running at all is because a friend of mine gaslit me into it (isn’t that always how it happens?), but the reason I keep going back to it is because for 20-30 minutes, the only thing I have to do is pick the most angsty playlist, focus on my breath, and notice the feel of my feet hitting the pavement.
If my morning starts off not ideal or if my day goes off the rails later on, a little trot usually makes me feel way better. And when I’m done, I’ve accomplished something that day that I feel quite proud of.
Punk rock covers of Taylor Swift
I have a new favorite Spotify playlist. It perfectly combines my aforementioned love of Taylor Swift with a bone-deep need for nostalgia and rhythmic guitar riffs (I’m not a guitarist - I don’t know what I’m talking about) that make my brain happy. I’m currently on a mission to convince my younger brother and his band to play a screamo cover of a Taylor Swift song for me, and if he loved me at all, he’d hop to.
Connecting to ancient religious practices
Not like in a witchy way, but in an Episcopal kind of way (which may be the same kind of thing, depending on your perspective of the Episcopal church). I am a person of faith, and after years of disentangling my beliefs and leaving the denomination of my childhood, I’ve found a new spiritual home in the big Episcopal church down the street. Middle-school Ginny would be shooketh, truly.
I like my new church and faith traditions for many reasons, but one of them is the connectedness I feel to the Christians that have existed before me through our creeds, prayers, and liturgical practices. As I kneel on the pews, recite prayers aloud, pass the peace, and receive the Eucharist, there’s something comforting to know that a great cloud of witnesses that existed before I took my first breath did these exact same things.
Trying to reconcile the suffering of the world with my faith in the goodness of God feels a little less impossible when I think about how the Saints were working out their faith amid war, plague, poverty, corruption, and oppression through these prayers too.
Exchanging voice messages with friends
We’re all just doing the best we can out here, and sometimes scheduling a phone call or in-person hangout feels like too much. Voice memos and Marco Polo messages are single handedly holding my friendships together as we try to muddle through, and I’m grateful.
I absolutely want to hear what my friend’s Mourning Monday or Thankful Thursday thoughts are, and I’m always here for a good rant, some piping hot tea, or an update about how their backyard weeding efforts are progressing. Also, I'd like to issue a public apology for being physically incapable of sending a voice memo any shorter than 5 minutes. I am a wordy gal and I cannot help it.
Reading escapist fiction
This is not the season of life for world-building or character-driven novels. (In this economy??) I don’t want to work hard when I’m reading fiction these days, thank you very much. We are here for frothy nonsense, smutty fantasy, and electrified thrillers. As an English Lit major (aka. certified asshat), I have served my time in heady, densely prosaic books and waxing eloquent about intertextuality and temporal disruption, and I have no plans to return any time soon. This is not my “I’m reading smart things” era, and only God can judge my Goodreads bookshelf.
Cross-stitching swear words
This is my favorite activity to accompany whatever TV show my husband and I are currently binging. Cross-stitching doesn’t take a ton of brain power, and it’s almost instantly gratifying - in just a few moments, I have a whole row of orange Xs and that feels like a lovely win. I also only pick the most absurd patterns so I’m only cross-stitching things that bring me joy.
Noticing That There’s Goodness Here
Not everything is a dumpster fire. There is goodness here, now. It takes more effort to notice good things, especially when our news feeds are full of devastation. Noticing that there is goodness doesn’t cancel out or dismiss the darkness, but it helps us hold hope and buoys us in the suffering. I’ve gone back to the basics and started keeping a list of the good things that I’ve been noticing every day, and you know what? It makes everything feel a little less doomed.
Thanks for reading my lil Friday listicle. I hope that wherever today finds you, you know that you are loved and that you are able to notice the little joys around you too. The fact that you all read this stuff and hang out with me here is a good thing that I’m holding on to. It truly means so much to me.
Disclaimer: This essay is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Reading or engaging with this content does not constitute therapy, nor should it be considered professional advice or a substitute for therapy. Everyone’s experiences are unique, so what’s shared here may or may not resonate with you. For more details, please review the full disclaimer on my About page before reading. To learn more about my clinical work, please click here.
Hugs, not drugs, kids. Please do not snort any lavender.
Thanks, Katy Perry. Hope you enjoyed your space flight.