Talk to Yourself Like You Would to Your Best Friend

Reframing the way we talk to ourselves—because kindness isn’t just for other people.

Mar 28, 2025

FIRST OF ALL - I want to just share the biggest THANK YOU to all of you who engaged in last week’s post about therapy and money, both online and IRL. It was incredible to get your thoughts about the cost of therapy, your own experience in therapy, and the complexity of setting your rates as a therapist. Thanks so much for jumping into that profoundly complicated conversation with such courage, openness, and authenticity. Y’all are the best.

Also, I now have my first-ever paid subscriber (EEEP!!!) which is just about the most mind-blowing thing. (Middle school Ginny would have never imagined that she’d get paid for writing a blog, even though she was really crushing it in the Blogspot space with her pretentious deep dives about regency-era British Literature.) Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Okay. Enough sappiness.

I’m jetting over to sunny San Diego for a work conference this week (shout out to the Institute of Reproductive Grief Care’s 2025 Symposium - I’m excited!), so my brain space has been taken up by all of the random pre-travel to-do’s and my futile attempts to gain some control over my inbox before I go MIA for a few days. (I become a little twitchy about my pre-travel chore list, and I’d like to just make a formal apology to all of my loved ones, and also remind them that I do not plan on changing this habit at all. Thank you for your attention to this matter.)

All that to say, I’m replacing my standard long-form essay this week with something different and breezy - affirmations!

I can hear some of you groaning and rolling your eyes. First of all, how dare you? Affirmations are great. You haven’t even read what I’ve written yet.

Some context: I’m going to take a wild guess that unless you have the most unshakable and glittery self-esteem (in which case, DO NOT SCROLL ON BY - please share your secrets with us mere mortals!) we all might *occasionally* talk to ourselves in a way that might not be the most kind and gracious.

We may say bossy, annoyed, anxious, impatient, or even straight-up mean things to ourselves. We probably have certain critiques to share when we struggle with a work project, when we make a mistake, when we’re snappy with a partner or friend, or when we try on clothes in that miserable fluorescent Target fitting room.

We may tell ourselves to get over things that are deeply painful because we feel impatient with our healing process or uncomfortable with negative emotions.

In short, we can be pretty mean to ourselves inside our brains.

Believe it or not, the way that we view ourselves can have a major impact on our mental health and our perception of the world around us. Similarly, if we struggle with anxious thoughts, letting those anxious thoughts ruminate and take control over our mental space also can have a profound impact on our wellness. All this to say (in a very brief, 30,000 foot overview kind of way), that the way you talk about yourself within yourself is very important.

More specifically, in this weird parasocial, online blog post weirdness, I care about you, and I care about the way that you talk to yourself.

So I’ve written out some affirmations for you!

I’ve split these up into a few different categories that particularly pertain to the topics I regularly write about here (infertility, pregnancy, postpartum, therapist stuff), along with a handful of general ones.

Whether or not one of these specifically resonates with you, I hope that you’ll feel inspired to write one for yourself that affirms, celebrates, or gently reframes something about yourself.

(Because maybe you’re a freaking delight after all? Just an idea.)

If you feel super brave and excited about your affirmation today, drop it in a comment! I’d love to celebrate that with you.

Affirmations for Therapists:

I am not a bad therapist if I have an uncomfortable/bad/mediocre therapy session.
I am allowed to make mistakes. Modeling repair can be therapeutic.
I am not a bad therapist when I charge my client for a late cancellation.
Learning and evolving is an ongoing process - I don’t need to have all of the answers.
Prioritizing my work-life balance is part of my therapeutic practice.

Affirmations for Infertility:

I am more than my reproductive story, even when it feels like it consumes everything.
Hope is a rollercoaster, but that doesn’t mean that I’m out of control.
My body is not my enemy, even if it seems like it is sometimes.
I am not a bad human if I want to punch the next person in the face who tells me to “just relax.” (I still should not punch them in the face.)
I am allowed to protect my peace (even if that means muting every baby announcement on Instagram).

Affirmations for Pregnancy:

My body is doing something outrageous, and I’m allowed to be impressed and annoyed at the same time.
Pregnancy does not require me to be glowing or graceful.
I will not Google every weird symptom. (Okay, I might. But I’ll try not to panic.)
I am growing a human. That is enough for today.
I am figuring this out as I go, and that’s okay.

Affirmations for Postpartum:

I am healing, even if it’s messy and slow.
I don’t have to enjoy every moment to be a good parent.
My baby and I are both learning. We’re doing our best, together.
Rest is productive. Crying is normal. Leaking is inevitable.
I am still me, even as I figure out who this new version of me is.

Affirmations for All The Things:

I am allowed to take up space, ask for what I need, and say no without guilt.
I can hold joy and grief at the same time—one does not cancel the other.
Even on the hard days, I am worthy of love, care, and rest.
I don’t have to do this alone. Support is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.
I am doing enough. I am enough.
I have a good intuition and I know what I need.

Thanks for reading That's Our Time! This post is public so feel free to share it.

Image by @gmosley_ // Check out their Instagram - their art is fab.

Disclaimer: This essay is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Reading or engaging with this content does not constitute therapy, nor should it be considered professional advice or a substitute for therapy. Everyone’s experiences are unique, so what’s shared here may or may not resonate with you. For more details, please review the full disclaimer on my About page before reading. To learn more about my clinical work, please click here.